i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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