You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
