Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
