Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's great music for shaving your balls
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
