were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
