White coat. Heels.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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