the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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