my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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