god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
