ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
