I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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