Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
