some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
