we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last night I used snow as a chaser
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
