You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
