Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
