Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
