If that was your dad, he is hot
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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