You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
