how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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