there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
