if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
