shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
