i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
