I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
