Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
