it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
