so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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