I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
