Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
