As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
