she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
