Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
