I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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