I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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