You're so nebulous sometimes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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