like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
