real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
