Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize