I will die if light touches me.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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