do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
