His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
