plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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