I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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