It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
