The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
