he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
