wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
