Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Someone shattered a urinal.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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