My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
