she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
