So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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