Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh god the rape fog is back!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The uberlube is also flammable
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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