Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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