every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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