East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You've changed since you got that strap on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
