We won't sleep together?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
