dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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