Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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